Erika Fox’s Story
My mother, Dina Roth Hager, and I were the last left in the flat in Vienna in July 1939. My father, Ezekiel Kanner, had emigrated to Palestine in 1938; I never knew for sure why, but my parents were unhappily married and my father perhaps didn’t expect to join us. I did not see him again until he came to London in 1948; he had been in the British Army during WW2, but had to leave on account of heart trouble. He then worked in the university library in Jerusalem. My father was one of a minority of Jews who wished for a joint state, Arab and Jewish, which of course never happened.
Various uncles and aunts and my grandfather, who was a Chassidic Rabbi, had also left earlier, not all together, but still relatively late in 1939. Those who did not leave were killed: my father’s 17-year-old sister, the wife of an uncle of mine and the parents of an aunt who married into the family. I was not quite 3 years old and being alone in the flat with my mother left me terrified, so I wouldn’t let go of her skirt all my waking hours as I was so afraid she would leave as well and I would be left alone.
We were always a very close-knit family on my mother’s side and we had a ‘Shtiebel’ (a Chassidic prayer room) in the Vienna home of which my grandfather, Reb Shulem, was the rabbi. He was an eminent figure within that congregation as well as in other parts of Europe, because of the uniquely wonderful way he ‘davened’ (Yiddish word for chanting/singing prayers) and people visited our synagogue for Shabbat and the High Holy Days from far and wide.
During my babyhood in Vienna, I used to be taken for a short outing in my pram and the woman who took me, obviously already a confirmed Nazi, once held me over a staircase leading to a cellar and threatened to throw me down. I know this is true because as an adult I told my mother the story and she went pale and said it was impossible for me to remember this as the woman in question was only employed with us until I was just over 6 months old (my mother was already quite ill with rheumatoid arthritis which is why she needed someone else to push the pram). I mention this event partly in amazement that one can recall a tremendous fear from an extremely young age, but partly to illustrate how, shockingly, ordinary people can be brainwashed to hate even tiny babies.
Coming to Britain of course saved our lives. I’m not sure exactly how my mother managed it, but I believe that her half-brother, Morris Hager, somehow managed to wangle her a visa. My mother and I flew to London together, but for some reason I was not on her passport. An air hostess apparently said to my mother “give her to me” and the authorities turned a blind eye and didn’t send us both back as they could have done.
We first lived in an East End hostel for Jewish Refugees, then for a short while in Willesden Green and then finally settled in Swiss Cottage, where we continued with a new Chassidic congregation, naming the house Beth Shalom.
As a child I only came across serious antisemitism during a short period when I was in a church school near Finchley Road, where the headmaster, a Mr Fletcher, used to make me stand through many lessons in the corner for some misdemeanour, of which I was absolutely never guilty. I didn’t actually understand the meaning of this until many years later. I always had a bad time at early school, but many children do if perceived as ‘different’.
What really saved me and allowed me ‘entry’ into English life was a musician by the name of Millicent Silver. She played the piano and harpsichord and later ran a very famous music chamber group (her family and others) known as The London Harpsichord Ensemble. They had wanted to help Jewish refugees, and she became my piano teacher for quite a few years, all for free, as well as welcoming me into the family many times. I felt as though I was indeed part of her family. They were so very kind to me.
She helped me gain a scholarship to the Royal College of Music, having first got me a place at the junior department, where they employed a young composer specially for my sake, as I showed particular promise in composition. She also managed to get me, due to musical promise, into a very good grammar school.
While writing this I have become aware of how much there is in a person’s life, and I am writing this quite close to my 90th birthday. What I would particularly like to mention is this. For many years I tried to move away from the life I knew with my grandfather, rejecting the religious life entirely and wishing to be a part of the English middle-class life I was introduced to here. In later life, I realised that my grandfather’s ‘davening’ had been my most important musical influence and inspiration and although that life is restrictive, there is something good to learn from everything. So, I count myself as a Jew. I always answer ‘Jewish’ when, say, filling out questionnaires and asked ‘Religion?’.
I have been fortunate in that I have managed to find a decent life here, although I am aware that present day refugees are by no means so lucky. I do, however, come from a place where Jews were humiliated, tortured and murdered in their millions, in one of or even THE most horrendous genocide in human history. We were almost wiped out. The fact that in Gaza, apparently as retaliation for the Hamas attack, dreadful though it was, the government of Israel is humiliating, torturing and murdering a whole people absolutely beggars belief.
Let’s face it, people have always hated Jews. That is a long and ancient story, and rears its head from time to time. At the moment Israel and its actions are guilty of bringing more antisemitism about. This is of course not the only reason I have deplored what is happening in Gaza and the West Bank, which I have visited with Jewish and Arab friends, who in their small way, are trying to impress on anyone who will listen, without prejudice, that not all Jews think alike. Sadly, many Jews don’t seem to realise that what is now happening in Gaza is shocking and only notice atrocities towards Jews. For goodness’ sake, we are all human beings, though people can be swayed for good or evil. Let us take the side we know to be right.